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The Grey Bastards {Ebook epub} author Jonathan French –

  • Kindle Edition
  • 529
  • The Grey Bastards
  • Jonathan French
  • English
  • 06 February 2019
  • null

10 thoughts on “The Grey Bastards

  1. says:

    This book got a major publishing deal during the home run of the SPFBO contest It has the highest score recorded in the 3 years of the contest out of nearly 1000 books enteredhttpmark lawrenceblogspotcom2So this is without uestion the filthies

  2. says:

    455 starsFilthily fantastic I never cared about pigs this much and I’m not talking about baconThe Grey Bastards was the champion of SPFBO Self Published Fantasy Blog Off 2016 and in my opinion it totally deserved the winning crown and all the praises This review is based on my experience of reading the indie edition which I stumbl

  3. says:

    Hell yes This went to my favorites list and thanks to Netgalley I have the next one to read Although I’m afraid My nerves for my favorites in this book And Hearth 😫 Anyhoo fanfreakingtastic Happy Reading Mel 🖤🐶🐺🐾 Review

  4. says:

    ”The first Grey Bastards were potters named not for our skin but from the dry clay which covered it We knew fire and heat and mud

  5. says:

    I received an advanced reader copy of The Grey Bastards in exchange for an honest review Thank you to Orbit Books

  6. says:

    What a fun irreverent readI’ve had Grey Bastards on my radar since before it was picked up by a publisher I went to buy it and had a freak out because it wasn’t available any Lately I’ve been really enjoying this type of story – where the characters don’t take themselves too seriously and even manage

  7. says:

    19062018 UpdateThe Grey Bastards ride todayAnd they have a new cover Too bad the original cover didn't stick I'm not sayi

  8. says:

    5 astonishing stars to The Grey Bastards 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 When I was contacted by Crown Publishing to read and review two fantasy genre books I jumped at the chance Not because this is my typical genre; not at all That’s not becaus

  9. says:

    Live in the saddleDie on the hogKerching This is the fantasy payload All the stars for this highly original foul mouthed story I was surprised by various twists and turns in the plot I loved the world of half orcs orcs thicks centaurs horse cocks elves halflings humans frails magicians and sludge demons yes you

  10. says:

    Winner of the 2016 SPFBO The Grey Bastards introduces us to Jackal half orc and all round badass hog rider Him and his fellow half orc brothers form one of the hoofs that reside in the Lots the lands between human held territories and those of the full blood Orcs the thicks who are straight out of Tolkein and really aren’t at all nice The hoofs work protection on multiple levels ridding the Lots of Orc bands who dare to test the boundarie

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Jonathan French Í 1 READ & DOWNLOAD

The Grey Bastards

Hoofs that have survived the harsh embrace of the Lots Young cunning and ambitious he schemes to unseat the increasingly tyrannical founder of the Bastards a plague ridden warlord called the Claymaster Supporting Jackal’s dangerous bid for leadership are Oats a hulking mongrel with orc than human blood and Fetching the only female rider in all the hoofs When the troubling appearan. The first Grey Bastards were potters named not for our skin but from the dry clay which covered it We knew fire and heat and mud until the day we rode into battle on the backs of hogs that knew only the yoke of a supply wagon That day we became warriors We were carving a path to freedom though we didn t know it then Carving it with swords fallen from the hands of our fleeing masters carving it through the flesh of our orc fathers The Lot Lands a Mad Max zone that lies between the Orcs Thicks the Centaurs Horse Cocks and the Frails humans is defended by bands of Half Orcs who are the only thing standing between the Frails and imminent invasion of Thicks In the last great Orc invasion the Half Orcs were pulled from the mines the fields the blazing kitchens and given swords and war hogs They threw them into the front lines but the Frails knew that their slaves were not going to be enough They developed a plague They purposely infected hundredsOnly a handful of Thrice Orcs survived the infection but these contagious survivors on the verge of madness from the disease became the deadliest weapon against the Thicks They were the smallpox contaminated blankets to end the war By the time Jackal joins the Hoof along with his best friends Oats and Fetching the times have changed All but one of the contagious Orcs have died many by madness induced suicide but one still remains The ClaymasterHe is the leader of the Grey Bastards and needless to say for a young aggressive impatient Half Orc like Jackal he has had enough of the addled directions of the pus dripping mummy wrapped corpse asshole smelling presence of his leader He is ready to make his move The Half Orcs are all bastards They are the result of rape between a Thick and a Frail No Human woman in her right mind would bed down with an Orc by consent They are ugly cruel dimwitted creatures that make even a caveman look like a civilized man of elegant culture Once born these half breeds are sent to the Lot Lands where the very best of them will be molded into warriors to join up and become sworn members of one of the bands of Lot Lands protectors Even though the Frails need them they still look down upon the Half Orcs as an abomination Naturally there is a lot of rage lurking in the hearts of those less than a generation away from being raised under the lash Jackal has only a limited understanding of the history of The Lot Lands He has been too worried about surviving and achieving his most precious goal to become a member of The Grey Bastards The moment life seems to be on a trajectory upward something usually explodes out of nowhere to send everything sideways A shit storm of unfortunate events has Jackal dealing with a series of crisis situations each one dire than the last Jackal finds himself outlawed from all that he loves including his friends His friend Fetching is one of the most interesting characters in the book She is the only woman to be allowed to join The Grey Bastards and frankly she only makes it because Jackal and Oats insist on her capabilities It doesn t take long for her to prove to everyone that she than deserves a position with the band She has a talent for killing She is gorgeous which keeps all the boys in a steady state of arousal She is frustrated that being good enough to be a Grey Bastard is not enough without the help of Jackal I think a lot of women can certainly identify with that frustration She will prove pivotal as the final chess pieces move on the boardBetrayal conniving sorcerers whorehouse treachery magical arm bones swamp land slugs the size of refrigerators conspiracies madness moon mad Centaurs halfling zealots kidnapped elves and let s not forget a 40000 member Orc army about to descend on The Lot Lands The fight scenes are incredibly vivid What s not to love This is an absolutely filthy book with absolutely nothing held sacred so if you are PC sensitive you might keep that in mind when considering reading this book Half Orcs will be Half Orcs There is never a good spot to stop reading this book The plot is so riveting I was compelled to read large chunks every time I curled up next to a war hog and immersed myself in the blistering unforgiving Lot Lands If you enjoy Mark Lawrence s books you will be thrilled to find another writer who will add some pulpy blood spilling sword swaggering whore shagging Orc splitting goodness to your reading entertainmentLive in the saddle DIE ON THE HOG I want to thank Kathleen uinlan and Crown Publishing for sending me a free copy in exchange for a gore splattered honest review If you wish to see of my most recent book and movie reviews visit also have a Facebook blogger page at

READ é TALKLOBBY.CO.UK Í Jonathan French

LIVE IN THE SADDLE DIE ON THE HOG Such is the creed of the half orcs dwelling in the Lot Lands Sworn to hardened brotherhoods known as hoofs these former slaves patrol their unforgiving country astride massive swine bred for war They are all that stand between the decadent heart of noble Hispartha and marauding bands of full blood orcs Jackal rides with the Grey Bastards one of eight. This book got a major publishing deal during the home run of the SPFBO contest It has the highest score recorded in the 3 years of the contest out of nearly 1000 books enteredhttpmark lawrenceblogspotcom2So this is without uestion the filthiest fantasy book I ve read beating the former title holder The Grim Company by a factor of ten possibly a hundred The book has elements in common with Jeff Salyard s Scourge of the Betrayer in that much of it concerns the interplay between a small band of fightersBut really if you ve seen Sons of Anarchy on TV then that s the perfect parallel This is a book about a biker gang Only the bikers are half orcs And the hogs they ride are actual hogs The sort that make baconThe story starts and for a long time remains very small scale The focus is on the fewer than a dozen half orcs in our biker gang hoof and on their suabbles with small numbers of fairly low key antagonists Some posturing leads to a fight the fight to a death the death to the hoof having to pay for prostitutes rather than get freebies it s entertaining but not epicWe discover that the half orcs have as neighbours all the DD races with the notable absence of dwarves But we do see elves centaurs orcs and halflings If I had been told this in advance it would have put me off reading the book but fortunately I wasn t and French s take on these guys is sufficiently novel or grimy to stop it feeling like discount TolkienAnyway the plot spirals slowly outwards and turns out to be a complex thing of many moving parts that eventually encompasses two nations and a vast suare mileage The heart of it all though is always the hoof and the tight but complex friendships thereinIf you look past the towering mounds of vulgarity this is actually a book with a lot of heart and no real evidence of the morally grey or nihilistic slant often called grimdark The main half orc characters are loyal good hearted and as inclined to do the right thing as many a fairy tale prince only with bags of very crude sexual innuendo no in your endo Scrubs TheToddIt s a well written book that captures characters well contains great description and keeps the pace varied but entertaining I spotted a grand total of 2 typos and a dozen or so lines I would have scrubbed the purple out of which now that the book has a major publishing deal should mean that the editors have very little work to doI really enjoyed this book It has charisma It s very entertaining it builds to an exciting finish and left me ready for You know you want to read about a dozen orcs on giant pigs charging into massed centaurs while screaming insults and waving their genitals Or you might not know it and be surprised to find that you like itOut of the 300 fantasy books that entered my self published fantasy book contest SPFBO for 2016 this book was the runaway winnerCheck out the contest results here there are other great titles clamoring for your attentionhttpmark lawrenceblogspotcouk Join my 3 emails a year newsletter prizes

FREE DOWNLOAD The Grey Bastards

Ce of a foreign sorcerer comes upon the heels of a faceless betrayal Jackal’s plans are thrown into turmoil He finds himself saddled with a captive elf girl whose very presence begins to unravel his alliances With the anarchic blood rite of the Betrayer Moon close at hand Jackal must decide where his loyalties truly lie and carve out his place in a world that rewards only the vicio. 19062018 UpdateThe Grey Bastards ride todayAnd they have a new cover Too bad the original cover didn t stick I m not saying this one is bad but the original was badass AFActual rating 45 starsI m sure a lot of you are aware of the following fact but I ll remind you anyway The Grey Bastards is the winner of the SPFBO 2016 and the worthy winner it sure isI was lucky to grab the indie version before the book and its forthcoming seuel were sold to PenguinRandom House because as of June 1 2017 the book was no longer available for purchase The new edition will be released in 2018 and I can only hope it will have a cover that will rival the badassery of this one As you can see from the picture above the stars of this book are half orcs which was an instant like for me because I wanted to read a fantasy book where the humans aren t in the spotlight for a very long time However the human characters are present as well as are orcs elves halflings and centaurs so if you look for diversity in your fantasy look no furtherAs I mentioned the half orcs are the main characters and if you have ever encountered those kinds of characters in video games or other books I m sure you ve noticed they don t recite poetry in their free time and when they speak they certainly don t sound like this I ll beat thee but I would infect my hands or The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril What I m trying to say here is there is a lot of swearing and vulgar vocabulary present so if you re triggered by that and if you cringe when various synonyms of vagina and penis are mentioned then this isn t a book for you It s hard to say something about the story or the characters without revealing the crucial plot twists so I ll refrain myself from doing so I will however compare this book to a TV show which was in my mind the entire time I spent reading this and the name of the show is Sons of Anarchy I was a big fan of SoA with the exception of the last two seasons which were crap and if you ve never heard about it it was a show about biker gangs This book is basically about biker gangs only they are called hoofs and they ride hogs Just like in the show the characters are grey pun intended there are scheming betrayals and past events which are affecting the present story and character s actions If you were a fan of the show or if you re a fan of biker gang culture in general I think you ll enjoy reading this adventureThe strongest point of the book for me was the pacing There is no slow build up here the action starts from the get go and pulls you right away The story just keeps on moving fast forward until the end and you ll have trouble putting this book down The action scenes are gripping violent and graphic so if you enjoy when blood is spurting and limbs are flying you re guaranteed to have a great timeTo sum up I had a blast The characters were charismatic the story was compelling and exciting and both were interwoven in the rich and vivid world of the Lot Lands I can t wait to be back in this world and will eagerly await news of the seuel Live in the saddle Die on the hog